Confession: Scared AF of Being a “Bad Mom”

Okay, so when I say “Bad Mom,” I’m not talking about turning broccoli into little trees, fooling your kids into eating healthy.

I’m talking about when it’s all said and done, and your kids are all grown up, will they look back and say “My mom was a great mom!?”

Raising kids in today’s society, quite frankly, scares the sh*t out of me. With technology inevitably taking over, kids today are constantly met with the pressure to fit in, succeed, and not suck. As parents, I feel like it is our responsibility to ensure that our kids are receiving enough love and attention, and being taught that no matter what, they are enough.

But what if we think that the amount of love and attention we give to our kids is sufficient, but it just isn’t enough?

What if your kid is struggling in school or dealing with bullying, and no matter how astute we think we are, we miss the warning signs completely?

I want nothing more than for my children to not only respect me as their parent, but confide in me as a friend. I understand the fine line between being an authoritative figure and being the “cool parent,” but I am so afraid that what I might think is sufficient and healthy, is lacking and toxic.

I’ve been doing a little research on Amazon, to see what their parenting self-help book selection is like. This best-seller, titled “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” really piqued my interest. While I have not purchased it yet, I would love to know if any of you have ever used self-help books to reflect on a particular subject?

 

I have heard it a million times that there is no wrong way to parent. The more experiences I am exposed to as an adult, I really cannot say that I wholeheartedly believe that. We won’t even get into stories we’ve all heard (*ahem the horrible situation of the 13 siblings in Southern California), but I think there is such a thing as sh**ty parenting.

It is one of my biggest fears, in choosing to become a mother. I can only hope that I am half the woman that my mother was, but then again, growing up in the 90’s was a whoooooole other ball game.

Have you ever felt this way? What did you do to assure yourself, that your parenting was working and that you could rest easy, knowing that your kids will be just fine in life?

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4 comments / Add your comment below

  1. A dad here, and I have definitely spent my share of time in the “holy crap, what am I doing and how did I get myself into this” mindset. As my oldest’s 8th birthday rapidly approaches, I continually realize that I will never feel like I know what I’m doing, and I’m beginning to feel ok with that.
    Keep on trucking’, and definitely keep writing! I like where you’re going with this!

    1. Wow, thank you SO much for sharing! It is super refreshing to have a dad’s point of view on this, plus my husband really appreciates it!

      It is so nice to know that the feeling of “what am I doing?” is universal. I think about that often, especially with the way our society is today.

      I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read what I’ve got to say, and I certainly will continue to write.

  2. I’m gonna take a (very small) leap here and say that there is no way we can know that we are doing things right. I mean we can’t even predict whether that new recipe we are trying will turn out well (and that’s relatively easy), so how can we expect to know whether something way more nuanced (like child rearing) will work? I say cut yourself some slack and go with your gut. In the meantime, if you want to read some parenting books to add tools to your parenting tool belt or just to hear someone say “Amen!” when you’re in a rough patch, do it. Big hugs to ya and keep on trucking!

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