Kindness In Motherhood: It's the Little Things

Motherhood is a place where appreciation goes out the window. Mothers are the most selfless people on this earth. We don't expect anything in return, not even a thank you-- and most of the time, we don't get one. But sometimes it feels good to be offered the same kindness we are always so willing to give.

Because kindness is a weapon--a powerful weapon that can change the trajectory of someone's day. The greatest thing is that kindness is a superpower all of us have. And we can use it anytime we choose.

The other day after bringing my three under 3.5 to an afternoon art class, I decided to stop at a nearby supermarket to pick up some milk because we were out, and my milkaholic two-year-old would not be happy later. I mean, a full-on tantrum was definitely on the horizon.  I was also feeling brave, or crazy, or a little of both—and since the baby was sleeping soundly on my chest, I decided to go for it.  

As a distraction, I let my kids pick out one small pumpkin each to buy—it was about to be Halloween, so this was very exciting for them.  After that, I grabbed the milk, a couple of more small items, and to my surprise, everything was going pretty smoothly. Until (because there is always an until when dealing with little kids…) the line at the express check out was too-long-for-little-people-with-no-patience status of long.

Should I go home? I already came this far. But someone is bound to have a meltdown.

I weighed the two options quickly and--

I decided to jump on the line with my three girls. We were already this far; a long line wasn’t going to deter me, at least yet...

So, we waited--

and waited a little more.

As expected, the girls got bored because the excitement of staring at a pumpkin can only last so long---and when my eldest strong-willed threenager gets bored, she tends to cause chaos. She pulled the pumpkin out of my two-year-old’s hands, and my two-year-old started wailing in protest.  I tried getting it back, while trying not to wake the baby--and ended up causing an even bigger scene from all the trying too hard.

I grabbed the pumpkin back while reprimanding my eldest. I felt a bead of sweat drip down my forehead. I looked down, and the baby was miraculously, still sleeping.

Then, a pause—and as I started questioning my decision, I felt a tap on my back.

“Excuse me, why don’t you go before me? You have your hands full.”

“Wow, thank you so much. I really appreciate it,” I answered, taking my three a step closer in line.

“it’s the little things,” she smiled at me.  And, she was right about that.

Because the little gestures in life most of the time have the greatest impact.

Because another couple of minutes spent in that store could have been the minute the baby woke up crying, the toddler decided to have a fit, or the threenager decided to act out again.

Because in another couple of seconds, a lot can change in motherhood.

And her kindness meant so much.

Just like if you reach out and help that mother who’s juggling her groceries with her child—she will be so grateful.  Or if you give up your seat for the pregnant mother on the bus with her toddler—she will remember you, always. Or if you see a mother on line with her kids, and you let her cut, you will make her day.

That kindness may take her away from her breaking point by giving her life again.

Because those small acts of kindness matter a lot.

It showed me that there are good people in this oftentimes scary world.

And It’s in our power if we want to be one of them.

And that should be an easy decision—

because nothing in this world feels better than to do something kind for someone else.

And especially in motherhood, where the stress is heightened and we are always at our brink, it could mean the entire world.

About the author: Dani Sherman-Lazar is an eating disorder advocate, Vice President of a transportation company, and a mother to three daughters. Follow her on her blog Living a Full Life After ED (https://livingafulllifeaftered.com/) and like it on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/StrivingToBeFULLeveryday/) and Instagram (@livingfullaftered). Her book Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorders is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId